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Leaves Shadow

Couples Counseling

“I did everything she wants and still it doesn’t please her.”  ~Anonymous

Life in an alcoholic home is often filled with violence, disappointments, lies, and numerous broken promises. This causes children not to trust, to learn poor communications skills, and to have trouble developing intimacy. They often have anxiety due to a lack of control over events, fears related to the uncertainties in their life, and guilt related to their sense of responsibility toward their parents’ activities.

Sound familiar?  This is a common complaint heard by both men and women alike who have been in a couples relationship for any length of time.

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Healing a broken relationship is not just about changing your behavior or communicating better.  No, the problem goes deeper…much deeper.  It’s about understanding how your past impacts your current behavior and your reactions to your mate’s behavior. It’s about taking the incidences that bug you in the here and now, and looking back to your childhood to see how you responded and/or how your parents responded to you.  What feelings did that create?  Are those feelings similar to what you are feeling now?

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Through counseling, you gain an understanding of how your past impacts your actions and reactions, so you can begin the process of reworking your actions and reactions, together with your partner, to create the loving, supportive relationship you desire.

My approach focuses on understanding and communication,

which helps couples move powerfully and gently

toward balance, re-connection, and growth.

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I will:

  • Provide you with a quiet and safe, non-judgmental place to work through your personal issuesd

  • Not ask you to complete questionnaires and draw comparisons

  • Ask you what brought you here and what you hope to accomplish.

  • Encourage you to discuss your relationship as a couple as well as your individual lives and experiences.

  • Look at your childhood, in a non-judgmental way, to help you see how those experiences impact your adult life and relationships.

  • Will help you to understand yourselves better, how you interact and relate to each other, and ultimately to find the direction that’s best for both of you.

Good Candidates for Couples Counseling

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Who is most likely to succeed at going through this process with their mate? Below are some of the common characteristics of couples who learn and grow closer from this experience.

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  • Both are willing to listen – to each other and to the counselor.  They have an open-minded attitude.

  • Both are willing to learn – learn from each other and from your past.  If one is not willing or ready to learn, then the other can still benefit from individual counseling.

  • Both are brave.  It’s not easy to face your past and look inward to your behaviors.

  • Both are 100% committed to the relationship.  You love and have a basic respect for each other.

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